You Are The Sum of The 5 People You Associate With The Most

When I look at my favorite authors, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders- all of them have at some point echoed “you are who you associate with”- and that used to trouble me. What do I do when most of my friends work 9 to 5, are married, and live for the weekend, only to get shitfaced and then repeat the cycle? I’ve come a long way in the last 3 years- it was around 3-4 years ago when I first heard Tim Ferriss say that you are who you associate with.

At this point, I feel I’ve climbed out of the rut, and am a little past zero. I’m walking towards the people I want to be at. I hang out with my favorites, in theory. Their readings, teachings, strategies, and recommendations- I read and question all of it. I adapt what I can, apply it, and eliminate the rest.

My new real life friends are amazing, and I feel it’s reading that’s gotten me this far. They are humble, kind, some of the best rock climbers and athletes I know- though not the brightest, and hardly ambitious. Which is completely fine- nothing wrong with that. But I need apex predators around me. Innovators who create and challenge the status quo- people who I can bounce ideas off of and talk them out when I’m unsure that I’m onto something. I want co-conspirators, not people who want comfort and stability. I need people who are’t afraid to go after what they want. I want people who ignore the media instead of consume it, create it instead of react to it.

Ryan Holiday has written extensively about killing off past versions of himself to make room for growth- and I’m internalizing that. I’m killing this version of myself to make room for a better one. Hopefully along the way, I can make peace with my insecurities too.

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