When I look at my favorite authors, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders- all of them have at some point echoed “you are who you associate with”- and that used to trouble me. What do I do when most of my friends work 9 to 5, are married, and live for the weekend, only to get shitfaced and then repeat the cycle? I’ve come a long way in the last 3 years- it was around 3-4 years ago when I first heard Tim Ferriss say that you are who you associate with.
At this point, I feel I’ve climbed out of the rut, and am a little past zero. I’m walking towards the people I want to be at. I hang out with my favorites, in theory. Their readings, teachings, strategies, and recommendations- I read and question all of it. I adapt what I can, apply it, and eliminate the rest.
My new real life friends are amazing, and I feel it’s reading that’s gotten me this far. They are humble, kind, some of the best rock climbers and athletes I know- though not the brightest, and hardly ambitious. Which is completely fine- nothing wrong with that. But I need apex predators around me. Innovators who create and challenge the status quo- people who I can bounce ideas off of and talk them out when I’m unsure that I’m onto something. I want co-conspirators, not people who want comfort and stability. I need people who are’t afraid to go after what they want. I want people who ignore the media instead of consume it, create it instead of react to it.
Ryan Holiday has written extensively about killing off past versions of himself to make room for growth- and I’m internalizing that. I’m killing this version of myself to make room for a better one. Hopefully along the way, I can make peace with my insecurities too.
I’m on fire this week with these posts…two days in a row haha. Anyways- Death. That dark, shadowy, nebulous, unknown spectral one way mirror which we obsess over but cannot see through. One day, you, me, everyone we’ve ever seen, met, heard, smelled, loved, hated, vilified, made into a demigod- yes, every single one of us will die. Did you know that there are whales swimming about in the ocean that have been around since before Moby Dick was ever written? Wrap your head around that. But even that massive leviathan will one day turn to worm food. We can’t escape it. So why the stigma? Why do we fear it? Why do we spend so much time on trivial, mundane things that don’t matter? Time. I keep coming back to it in my posts- but humans are foolish. We know our time is limited. But we want to stay here forever because we fear death. Even people who want to go to heaven, don’t want to die to get there. We are strange strange creatures indeed.
I think a part of this has to do with the fact that we do not focus our energies on the task at hand. We are forever wondering about what will happen or what has happened. When was the last time you focused on right NOW? For me it was when a guy ran a red light and almost T-boned my car in the middle of an intersection. All mental chatter stopped. There was nothing except what I was doing in that very moment. Other times I’ve experienced that- snowboarding, driving spiritedly on a nice mountain road, riding bikes and ridiculous speeds on hills I’d never ridden on. Reckless? yes. euphoric? yes. Apparently, people who master living in the now are having a blast, simply by being. They are thrilled to be alive, on earth, in that very moment. I can’t fathom that.
What I can fathom, is this video. Sam Harris makes sense of all my ramblings. It’s a great message, even if it’s a long one at 1 hour. It’s a very inspiring one hour though, I will watch this one again.